12 Financial Questions Couples Should Discuss Before Marriage

Many couples in Ukraine still feel uncomfortable discussing financial matters before marriage. Women often hesitate to ask about money, fearing they might come across as mercenary, while men avoid such conversations to maintain their partner’s sense of security. However, addressing finances is crucial in understanding whether you and your partner share a common future, according to expert speaker on corporate and personal finance, Yelena Shepel.

Yelena suggests several tips to initiate these awkward discussions about money. “Start with neutral questions like, ‘What do you envision for our finances in a year?’” She also notes that sharing personal experiences can lead to productive conversations. If there were financial rules in your family or previous relationships, discuss them with your partner. Talk about what you liked or disliked and ask for their experiences as well. To ease the tension, you could even turn the conversation into a fun game—write your questions on small cards, draw a card, and take turns answering. This game format removes much of the stress, allowing open discussions about important topics. Here are twelve essential questions you must discuss before saying “I do.”

1. What are your views on money?

This question uncovers the significance of money in each partner's life. For some, money equals security; for others, it's a tool for achieving goals. As you discuss your viewpoints, you might find that this dialogue either strengthens your bond or reveals fundamental differences in your attitudes towards money.

2. What is your current financial situation?

This question may be challenging since many find it difficult to openly discuss their income and expenses. However, it’s vital to address this before entering a partnership. Discuss incomes, savings, debts, loans, or mortgages. Both partners deserve to know what each other owns and what that means for them after you’re married.

3. What are your financial goals?

Discuss both your short-term and long-term goals. Financial objectives can range from purchasing a shared home or car to starting a family business, taking a vacation, or saving for retirement. Sharing common goals can significantly strengthen your relationship.

4. What will our family budget look like?

To avoid unpleasant surprises, it's essential to define your family's budgeting format before getting married. Will you have a joint budget, individual budgets, or a combination of both? Discuss how important it is for each partner to have personal spending money monthly that they can use without explanation. Additionally, deliberate on how expenses will be divided—equally or proportionately based on income.

5. What are your saving habits?

In Ukraine, the skill of saving is still developing. It's crucial to find out who saves money and who doesn’t. Then, come to a consensus about joint savings. Be sure to address whether a joint emergency fund will be established and how much each partner will contribute monthly.

6. What is your stance on debt?

Your attitudes toward loans and credit are especially critical to discuss. Some couples may use credit cards liberally, while others may avoid them altogether. If both partners view debt positively, talk about whether you would be comfortable taking out a joint loan and how you would share responsibility for it.

7. How do you feel about large purchases?

Converse about how major spending decisions will be made, such as buying a car or expensive technology. Are you planning to buy a home, or is one partner content with renting? Such discussions might reveal different visions for your shared future, which need to be reconciled.

8. How much will it cost to raise kids?

This question addresses the financial dimension of parenting. Determine how much you estimate it will take to cover clothing, education, and other child-related expenses. Discuss the number of children you see in your future family and what level of financial support you would like to provide for them.

9. Will you be financially supporting your family?

Financial assistance to parents or other close relatives can be a sensitive topic. If you expect to help out financially, it's best to delineate the extent and frequency of that support ahead of time. This discussion should cover how much and where the funds will come from.

10. What are your views on work and career?

Each partner's career plans will impact your family finances. It's wise to understand if your partner is willing to support you should you choose to change jobs. Additionally, consider maternity leave. Discuss what will happen financially when childbirth happens, including how expenses will be managed during that time and how long the partner expects the leave to last. Under Ukrainian law, women can take up to three years of maternity leave, but many men may not be prepared to completely shoulder the financial burden during that period.

11. What financial role do you want in the family?

Partners need to clarify their roles concerning household finances. Decide who will manage the family budget, pay the bills, track income and expenses, and handle savings. Also, who will start monthly conversations about finances? Clear definitions will simplify financial management in your new life together.

12. What are the financial obligations in case of divorce?

This question is rarely discussed, but it’s essential. Understanding how finances or property would be divided in the event of a separation can help in unfortunate circumstances. Even if this subject feels uncomfortable, addressing it now can reveal each partner's attitudes, approaches, and values, potentially preventing conflicts in the future.

Discussing these twelve financial questions before committing to marriage is crucial for building a transparent, healthy financial future as a couple. Open dialogue will not only foster trust but also set the stage for a strong partnership based on mutual understanding and shared objectives.